Stupid Writer Tricks: Tips, Hints, Riffs & Rants by Daniel Knauf

Author:Daniel Knauf [Knauf, Daniel & Knauf, Daniel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UnMovies, Inc.
Published: 2023-04-29T22:00:00+00:00

10.

WHEN LIGHTNING STRIKES

Sooner or later, if you keep writing scripts, you’re going to sell one to somebody. Suddenly, you’ll be “hot.” And, chances are, unless you’re incomprehensively savvy, you won’t know how to exploit that heat.

I know.

It happened to me.

After previously optioning several screenplays, my seventh, BLIND JUSTICE, generated tremendous buzz. I got meetings with the three big agencies in town, plus a bunch of smaller fish. CAA was courting me, throwing around big names like Coppola and Mel Gibson. It was a total stroke-fest.

I sold the script to HBO with a virtually guaranteed green light.

Everything went right. Too right.

During preproduction, when it looked as though the director was going to rewrite me, the studio went to bat for me, protecting my draft and, in essence, telling him that if he didn’t want to shoot it, he was fired.

The lead, Armand Assante, and I hit it off from thlisteninge beginning, smoothly collaborating on dialogue polishes.

I was on the set, present for every aspect of the production, from the table read to the wrap. At the cast screening I was singled out by the Vice President of HBO Original Films, as the “MVP of the production.”

I then signed with a middle-sized but highly regarded agency.

I was on my way, right?

Wrong.

I got one additional assignment, then did an all-too-fast fade into oblivion. Why? Because I thought that I could coast. After all, I had a production credit, my WGA card and an agent doing the hustling for me.

Dyuuuuuhhhhhhhh . . .

HERE’S THE DEALIO, BOYS AND GIRLS: One big break does not make a career. It takes a whole bunch of them, regular and Super-Sized. And you don’t just sit back and wait for the goose to start laying golden eggs. No, you’ve got to grab that fucking goose by the neck, shove your arm up its ass and start clawing them out.

As for me, I was dead the moment I abdicated my progress to a third party—in this case, an agent. This is a huge mistake. Don’t do it. Sure, sign with one, but under no circumstances should you trust him or her to make you a success. That’s only a small part of the agent’s job description. It is, however, almost the entirety of yours.

Wait a minute, Dan! you’re probably thinking. That’s what he gets 10% for, right?

Yeah. But guess who gets the other 90%?

It’s contingent on you—and only you—to chase that next assignment. Sure, there may be a day when the big boys are lining up to option your spent toilet paper. But even if that happens, it’s not likely to last long (if you don’t believe me, ask Oscar? winner Michael “Michael Who?” Blake).

It took me a couple of years to realize I’d been thrown off the merry-go-round. I wasted some time chewing on my entrails (they taste just like chicken!), then decided to do something constructive. So I spent time (lots of time, often crying into my highball and moaning out loud) analyzing my situation, identifying the stupid things I’d done and, more importantly, the smart things I hadn’t done.

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